Good Books and Other Tips for Teaching a Child to Read at Home

Learning to read is one of the most exciting things. 

I taught first grade and one of the main things I loved about it was seeing so many kids become readers. I loved witnessing the excitement and incredible growth around that (and I had similar feelings about seeing kids that age become writers). There's a metamorphosis in kids, when they realize they are-- finally, sometimes suddenly-- a reader, when they've cracked the code and feel the special new confidence that comes with the ability to decipher the world around them-- books and so much more. It was exhilarating to see it in my own daughter this year in our homeschool setting. 

At the beginning of this year, M was 5 1/2. She could name most of the letters reliably, and she knew many of the sounds they made. She recognized a few words on sight and could write her own name and sometimes a couple of other names (Mommy, Daddy). She was well-placed as a beginning kindergartner, but she was not yet a reader. 

...Now, she is a reader. We can no longer spell the words we don't want her to hear in our conversations. She constantly catches us off guard by asking, "Why does it say-- ?" as she reads food packages, our to-do lists, road signs, and everything else. She insists on reading some of the questions herself when we play a game. It all happened so quickly, and it's amazing the effect all of these new abilities have on a now-six-year-old's sense of self. 

The Ingredients for Learning to Read

There is a lot of research on the methods for teaching reading skills. I think a few things are most important:

• Regular, brief lessons in letters and sounds, in an intentional sequence: go from easiest and most common sounds/spelling rules (e.g. short vowels and consonants) to those more difficult and/or less frequent (e.g. silent e rule, ing/ang endings). 
• Teach them to recognize by sight words like the, are, and is-- words they'll come across frequently but that often can't be sounded out. Spell them out loud, use flashcards, write them in the air, etc. 
• Read books aloud regularly and talk about them. 
• Writing time, for kids to tell their own stories and learn to put them on paper, with pictures and words.
• Reading time itself, to put appropriate books (not too hard or too easy) in kids' hands and let them practice, with support in how to tackle tricky words and other strategies.   

All of the above heavily supports learning to read. But the moment of putting it all together and really becoming a reader isn't a formula. I see learning to read as partly magic; it's a small miracle within each kid as to when and how it all clicks for them. 

Below is how we approached reading time itself. 

How we Approached Reading This Year

Keep it Cozy

We don't do worksheets or drill sounds during reading time. Reading time is for books. We sit on the couch most days. She reads me two or three books, then I usually read her one or two (at any level, just for the sake of reading aloud) as well. I might read a book to her on a topic we are learning about in science, or a great new library book or something else. She looks forward to being read to probably as much as I like to hear her read to me. 

There are ways to jointly read her books, which we did a lot early in the year, and still do sometimes just for fun, or when the book or the mood calls for it:

• Alternate: I read a page, she reads a page, and so on
• Echo: I read the book first-- either the whole way through or one page at a time-- then she reads it 

Logistics

Most academics we fit in in the morning when we are freshest and most energetic. But reading works in the morning or afternoon because it's not too demanding (see above). I try to start with a tip or reminder that I know is relevant for her at the moment, like: remember to stop when there's a period; if it doesn't make sense try again; make sure the word matches your guess from the picture. Other than that, I just have her choose what she wants to read and we read. I listen and follow along. If she gets stuck and asks for help, or plows ahead with mistakes, then I remind her of another strategy to try. 

For a lot of the year, we had two baskets she could easily draw from: "Working On" for a selection of books I thought were currently about right for her that she hadn't read yet or couldn't read very smoothly yet and "Can Read!" for books she'd mastered. It was nice having a spot she could go to for books she already knew any time she wanted to read to her dad or anyone else. Recently, we've started to outgrow this basket system as what she can read has expanded so widely so that she can select books from all over our house. 

Good Books for Kids Learning to Read

In the classroom I had a whole selection of books to suit kids' different interests and ability levels. But at home, I don't have all that to draw from. In the beginning, it was a little tricky at times to figure out how to get our hands on books that were easy enough for M to practice with-- not to mention the hope that they also be engaging (which many beginner texts are not). But we found things for her to read, without buying a lot, by using the library and some free apps. Essentially, we followed a path from emergent reading (see below) to phonetic reading to patterned books and then to a great variety of options. 

These are the books and sources I've found affordable, accessible, and helpful for a child learning to read at home. While some overlapped, I listed them here in approximately the sequence in which we used them. I am sure there are other good options out there as well but this list got us through!

1. Start with Labels around the House

The night before the first day of homeschool, I taped index cards on various things in our house-- "chair," "piano," etc. The moment M came downstairs, all bright-eyed and eager for the first day of kindergarten, she noticed one, and then another and another. She was full of exclamations: "Why is this here? What does it say?!" We didn't read them to her, but told her to look at it. What would make sense? What did she think it said? Did she have any guesses based on where it was or by looking at the beginning of the word? She quickly figured out some obvious ones but others took more time and I let her puzzle over them, like "light." She immediately thought, "switch" and I said, "Great idea!...But this word starts with /lllll/." Whenever she figured one out triumphantly, we'd say, "Wow! You're a reader!" and you could almost see her self esteem grow. I'm so glad I started our year that way because I feel like it set the tone for her school year. It gave her a sense that she was so capable already and just had to work to unlock the world around her. It was a way to get her to really start to look at words, and made her feel the thrill of being a reader. (And it was the moment I really understood why every kindergarten classroom I've ever been in has labels all over on things like the sink, calendar, and table.)  

2. Respect the Emergent Reading Stage

This is the stage when kids understand that a picture book tells a story. They have heard stories lots of times. They know the words hold meaning but they can't read most of them yet. They can, however, sit down with a known, favorite book, and turn the pages and tell the story aloud, pretend reading. They won't be saying the words exactly as they are written. But they are reading, in their own, emerging way. Rather than rushing past this stage or forcing them to focus on the words, honor this stage for what it is and work with it. 

I found ways to encourage this type of reading for a while. I asked M to try to say more details to go with each page-- so she wasn't just flying through the book providing a cursory summary. If it was a new book she could look closely at the pictures and try to tell the story by using all the clues they provided. This was a little freeing to a beginning reader to be told she could read this way. I think made her feel a lot more confident early on to feel she could "read" any book off our shelves. If it was a story she'd heard before, I could also ask her to try to sound like a grown-up reader and use words like the author used in her telling of the story-- words like gasped and suddenly and worried. It was okay if she didn't know exactly what the words said yet; she could still read by doing the best she could and using a reading voice. By allowing her to work with great books she loved right off, rather than flimsy miniature early readers which kids seem to know aren't real books, it propelled her into the reading world with more engagement. So the strategy for a while was essentially: fake it till you make it. But it worked and was a lot of fun. 

3. Primary Phonics

After the emergent reading stage, we worked with some phonetic readers. I had had success with the Primary Phonics series with some students, especially those for whom it is hard learn and keep straight letters and sounds. Kids like that don't need tricky language in books at first to trip them up. They need controlled texts-- books that have only the words they've learned by sight (e.g., the) and words that consist of sounds they have learned so far. The first book in Set 1 is Mac & Tab, about a cat and a mouse. It consists entirely of words like a, and, the and 3-letter words with only the vowel "a." The pictures are black and white line drawings and they are old stories. But it's empowering for kids to open up a book that follows the rules, that they can sound out, all the way through, even if it takes a while. This was real reading for the first time. 

4. Bob Books

These are even easier than the Primary Phonics set in a way, in that they begin with only truly decodable words. The first book in Set 1: Beginning Readers never includes even the word the, but is made up entirely of the letters "m," "a," "t," and "s." But in other ways these were a little trickier, especially for a kid who has been read to and knows how books should sound. Herein lies the tricky balance for books for early readers; in order to have such a controlled, decodable book, some pages sound awkward. (The first page of book 1 says simply, "Mat." Another page says, "Mat sat. Sam sat.") But when sounding out was hard and reading was slow going, she could read a couple of these little tiny books and feel successful.     

5. Scholastic Box of First Little Readers

When M started being able to branch out a bit from the decodable books above, I found this Scholastic set of patterned stories, in which every page has the same sentence that only changes by a word or two and the pictures give big clues. It makes sense to teach kids explicitly that many books (for early readers) have a pattern, and to look for and identify that pattern to make reading easier. Once they are comfortable with the idea of a text pattern, this type of book can introduce them to more interesting vocabulary. With 25 little books for around $11, this set was a bargain. The boxes are available in various levels, marked by a letter. We got guided reading level C. On Amazon there are pictures of the insides of some of the books so you can quickly get a sense of what they are like if you aren't sure of the right level for your kid. I'd suggest buying a level that feels like a little bit of a stretch at the time, because they will only be at any given level for a finite period of time. Even with the brevity of the text, this series manages to be a little silly and M enjoyed the humor.

6. Board Books

We have a vast collection of board books from when our kids were little. I realized at one point that there were plenty that M could now read herself and I started culling them from our bookshelves. Board books, made for babies, consisting of one word on each page, were great. Some others are rhyming or patterned in some other way that make them easy to tackle for new readers. The familiarity in the fact that we had read these books to my daughter hundreds of times since infancy helped her be more successful with some of them as well. Some good ones we used were Freight Train by Donald Crews, Orange Pear Apple Bear by Emily Gravett, I Like Fruit by Lorena Siminovich, and Mommies Say Shhh! by Patricia Polacco. In general the ones with the fewest words were best at first, and later she could access others.   

7. Repetitive, Predictable Texts, Including ABC Books

Up until this stage, I had had a hard time finding books from the library (other than more board books) that were simple enough for M to read. But once she could handle a sentence or so on a page and was working with patterned texts, the library became a rich resource for her reading materials. I looked for ABC books, because those are essentially labeling books. I also looked for anything patterned or repetitive, like the classic Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you See? by Bill Martin Jr. and others like Silly Sally by Audrey Wood, I Went Walking by Sue Williams, and Go Away, Big Green Monster by Ed Emberley. I found if I did a Google search for "repetitive picture books" or "picture books with predictable text" or "rhyming picture books," I got lots of lists of ideas, then I would borrow some of those titles from the library.   

8. Kahn Academy Kids App

I don't get a lot of apps for the kids, but Kahn Academy Kids is one of the best ones I've found, school-wise. It was free. We put it on our iPad. It plays constant background music, but you can turn off the sound. It offers academically-oriented games too. But we got it for the "Library" part of the app, where there is a good selection of books. The books are under different categories, and we most utilized the Early Readers section. When your child taps on a book, it opens with the option to "read to me" or to "read by myself." We always chose the latter when we were using the app to practice reading. The early readers range from simple decodable stories to more challenging, but they do follow a sequence that makes sense as kids get stronger at reading. Most of the early readers are fiction stories about the same set of characters, which M found engaging. They were a perfect combination of decodable words, patterned text, and interesting stories and characters. And, free! 

(For general listening enjoyment or read aloud, the app also includes some great published nonfiction, like the great Blastoff Readers Series about animals, vehicles, and science topics, and some National Geographic Young Explorer books.)  

9. Epic App (or Epic Online)

A lot of teachers had their students use Epic for remote schooling. We got a free trial to Epic at one point and since then I have been paying the monthly fee (less than $10). It's unpredictable what titles they have, but there are a lot of books available for various ages. There are both Epic originals (not always so good) and lots of great, real published books. Each of my kids have a profile and the app notes their interests and suggests books for them, and keeps a record of which books they've read. 

As far as using it for M for learning to read, we've mostly done one of two things. One is, we look for "Collections" of books that teachers or others have made. These are groupings of books based on a theme or level. We found a Collection called Fiction Level A/B Books and another called Ready to Read. Important note: the leveling on Epic does not seem to follow a consistent standard. Plenty of the supposedly A/B books were harder than that, but it was a good start. The other thing we learned to do is to go to Search, search for a topic, then when the search results come up, narrow them by clicking on the Reading Level filter at the top and choose a level range. It's a range rather than a particular level, but it at least loosely groups books by difficulty. M would choose a book that looked interesting and then we'd look at it together to see if it looked just right for her or not. (The more broad the initial search term you use, the better, because I haven't found a way to simply search for books by level.)   

10. After that, the World...

By the time kids can read beyond predictably patterned books, the world of reading has opened up and it's less about finding specific titles or series. There are so many good series and options for a young reader who can really read-- Henry & Mudge, Little Critter, Elephant and Piggie, and lots more. One thing worth noting, though, is that if you set out to buy books marketed as early readers, some of the labeling can be tricky. Leveling systems are not consistent from one publisher to another, and the terms can be deceiving. For example, we've enjoyed books from the I Can Read! series, at the "My First" level, but M wasn't reading those until recently. They aren't decodable, there isn't a defined pattern-- and yet it's listed as the earliest level. I think a good rule of thumb is, rather than being tied to levels or to a particular publisher, to just flip through a book. Check out first and foremost how many words are on a page; fewer = easier reading level. But also check how easily most of the words could be sounded out, or whether the words of the story follow a predictable pattern, because those things make books easier too. 

Don't be afraid to let young readers try something you think is too hard. For one thing, it's good for kids to learn to recognize for themselves when a book is easy or too hard. But once kids put together the puzzle of reading, they sometimes grow by leaps and bounds. You may be surprised by how much they can read if you casually test them from time to time, asking them to read first one book without any help, then another more difficult one if that goes well, and so on, just to see what they are capable of at a point in time.    

Other Notes

Using the Pictures

Children's books have pictures for a reason. They support the text and help with comprehension and figuring out words that would be too difficult without them. Learning to read means learning to put together all sorts of information-- what the letters in the word itself look like, the context of the sentence and whether it make sense and sounds right, and the picture too. Pictures are engaging and supply details and richness beyond what an early level book can provide in the text alone. Kids using the pictures to figure out a word isn't cheating, but rather a part of being a young reader. 

On Memorization

Sometimes parents are concerned that their kids are just memorizing when they can fly through a book. And sometimes it is true that they know a book so well they literally have it memorized and claim they can "read" it without even looking. When this happens, of course, it makes sense to let them know that that's a neat trick, but it isn't really reading because grown-up reading means looking at the words too. 

But there is no harm in memorizing a book and it can be a good thing at a certain stage. When you have a book memorized, you need to match what you have in your head to the actual text on the page. By doing both at once-- the fluid, rote memorization, and the looking and following along with their eyes-- they are internalizing story language, memorizing what certain words look like, learning new vocabulary well. A memorized book is also an accomplishment. It makes reading fun, and is a nice contrast to the hard work of getting through a brand new book. Memorization allows them to practice other, higher level reading skills like voices for different characters, and fluency and phrasing, while their brain is not entirely consumed by sounding out and figuring out as they go. They shouldn't cling to only books they have memorized, but as part of the learning to read repertoire, it's a good and healthy thing.  

...

I'll end with an anecdote that reminded me how memorization can be a good thing. M wanted to learn all the words to a certain favorite song from the movie Frozen ("Into the Unknown"). So I found and printed the lyrics for her. I imagined I would read these to her or with her because it was a lot of words, but no-- she wanted those lyrics for herself. She read them with voice and expression, following along, efficiently figuring out tough words because she already had big portions of this song memorized. She had a good sense of the language and what it should sound like, so she was able to match that knowledge to the print and consequently to read plain text on a page that would have been beyond her otherwise. 

The lyric reading I witnessed is a reminder, too, of the impact that reading out loud (and talking, for that matter) to kids has on learning to read. The more stories they hear, the more language they know, the more they know how stories tend to go, and the easier a time they have filling in the gaps when it's their time to read themselves. 

Video clip reading/singing "Into the Unknown" (can't resist):

Our Best Writing Unit so Far: How my Fifth Grader Became a Rapper

A few weeks back as we approached the time to begin a new writing unit, I talked with my 10-year-old about the editorial writing I had in mind (I had the idea and lots of resources ready to go from the New York Times's Learning Network) and he was uninspired. He didn't think editorials sounded "that fun." I knew that if we went ahead with it, he'd probably get engaged. But at the same time, I was intrigued by the idea of figuring out what type of writing he would want to work on. Previously this year, W had chosen his topics in writing, but I had picked out all the genres we'd focused on so far: personal narratives, research reports, and fantasy stories. Seeing him have agency and ownership for his own learning is something I love about homeschool, and this seemed like a grand opportunity for that. So we started talking about types of writing, including seriously considering starting a kid blog, but the idea that came out on top for him was writing raps. 

I don't know anything about rap music, and that fact would have prevented me from considering teaching it in the past. But here I am with our story of the incredibly fun rap writing unit he and I created together, and are still in the midst of. (Or, if you want, skip my story and go right to the end to see one of his raps.) 

Why we Chose Rap

We've never listened to rap much as a household; it was hardly on our radar. But last summer, after learning a lot about the American Revolution, W and my husband and I watched Hamilton when it came out on Disney Plus (Hamilton is the reason we acquired Disney Plus), and he's never been the same since. We have listened to the soundtrack probably hundreds of times. He enjoys memorizing his favorite songs and quotes them all the time. He regularly asks me what a particular word or phrase means from one of the songs-- they songs are so rich, packed with details-- and we often research to fully understand. Hamilton was the sum total of the experience he had ever had with rap or hip hop, but its words were crafted in ways that fascinated him, so it was the inspiration for this unit. 

Our Mentor Text Chose Itself

It's always good to expose kids to the genre of writing that they are going to be doing by reading a variety of it. I think it's also important to choose one mentor text to examine that you can get a lot of mileage out of. (Focusing on one example text is also an opportunity to choose depth over breadth, which I try to make one of our homeschool mottos.) In this rap writing unit, choosing the right mentor text wasn't an issue; the mentor text was of course Hamilton as a whole but in particular W chose the first song of the play: "Alexander Hamilton." 

I'm sure most people have seen Hamilton at this point, but for those who haven't, just to give a taste, it begins with a spoken 37-word question: 

          "How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the 

          middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean by providence impoverished in 

          squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar?" 

W already had the song memorized, and was in awe of this opening sentence, especially, and went around the house saying it constantly (so much so that his 5-year-old sister also goes around the house saying it sometimes, thankfully saying some of the words wrong and not understanding what they mean). When W asked, I was able to gloss over the definition of "whore" and told him I'd explain more when he's older, but he had analyzed and understood all the other references within. The song is incredibly crafted and I thought it was cool that W admired it so much. The writing level of it was certainly far above what I figured he'd be able to create when he took a stab at writing rap, but it was rich example for him to look up to and attempt to approximate. 

Teaching

Knowing he had his mentor text internalized, I spent a couple of days of writing time with him trying to help him learn a little bit of basic background about how rap got started, about rap/hip hop as a structure of writing with verses and hooks (choruses), and as a culture. The latter was another reason I felt good about choosing this as a unit; rap introduces him to a culture very different than the one he's grown up in. We watched several interviews with Lin-Manuel Miranda, creator of Hamilton, who W knows about and idolizes more than he ever has any other famous person (W predicts, "There will definitely be a Who Is...? book about him!"). We learned what we could about his creative processes. We watched a few YouTube videos and read a few blog posts dissecting the way rap works in Hamilton. We learned about the importance of rhyming but also the different types of rhyming rappers use, beyond perfect rhyme; this was key.

I was surprised how lucrative my Google search was when I first sat down to gather ideas and resources for this unit. Here were some useful ones:

Resources we used for Our Rap-Writing Unit

• Beats: This lesson included, along with some basic good background information about rap, five different music tracks for students to choose from as beats to go along with their rap. The idea is that they can choose a beat, then write to match it, playing it as they test out their rap.
• More Beats: This link also has around twenty beats to choose from to accompany your rap as you write it or perform it.
• Rap Knowledge/History: Video of DJ Grand Wizard Theodore, inventor of the scratch and needle drop commonly used in rap songs.
• Types of Rhyme: The first page of the rap worksheet included in this lesson (same site as first bullet) was helpful as well, as it gives a list of types of rhyme and other literary devices used in rap.  
• Exploring our Mentor Text: Harvard interview where Lin-Manuel Miranda discusses history, hip-hop, and playwriting. 
• Exploring our Mentor Text: Compelling, four-minute PBS video comparing Miranda and Shakespeare. 
• Exploring our Mentor Text: Informational/analysis video about how rap works in Hamilton. (There are also parts 2 and 3 in this video series if interested.)
• General Teaching Suggestions: I myself used some basic background information to guide our conversations and give suggestions for how to write a rap, like this guidance from a music teacher, and this Flocabulary page, and this how-to, but I didn't force W to strictly follow all the steps or rules from any of these. 
• Idea List: I reminded him of a good habit for any type of writing-- keep a list of topic ideas in his notebook to refer to. He has various people and activities, interests and more on this list to go to when he's not sure what to rap about next. 
• Dictionaries, Thesauruses, and other Tools: He often has his dictionary and/or thesaurus handy (interestingly, I bought the kids' thesaurus before this school year began, but it was in writing rap that he has really used it and appreciated it). I also found this online rhyming dictionary. I never knew such a thing existed, but it's really neat: you type in a word and get a list of words that rhyme and almost rhyme. I think it actually slows W down to use it and he prefers to think up his own wording and rhymes, but occasionally, as when he was trying to rhyme with pirate, it's a good tool to know about.   

After a couple days of digging in and getting to know rap/hip hop, he was itching to go, so I let him leap in and try his hand at it. He's been having a lot of fun with it. In the first couple weeks, he rapped a tribute to our dog for his birthday, wrote a rap for his aunt in her birthday card, he rapped about quarantine, the Revolutionary War, Ulysses S. Grant, and about the characters of one of his favorite novels (Ranger's Apprentice). 

Planning and Process

I've learned to talk very little at the start of a writing period, then let W go and give him plenty of space. Occasionally I check in on him, and he is super focused, tapping and clapping and whisper rapping to himself to test out how his work in progress sounds. He works really hard at the rhymes. He's always loved word play since he was little, including rhyming, so maybe that part comes to him fairly naturally. But inspired by Hamilton songs, and some other things he's read, he plays around often with "near rhymes," words that don't actually rhyme, but the emphasis or vowel sounds are close enough that it works effectively, or with rhyming not with an entire other word but instead with a phrase or with a syllable, or with parts of consecutive words. See these examples, both from the line quoted above from "Alexander Hamilton": the last two syllables of forgotten nearly rhyme with spot in; providence seems to rhyme with impoverished.    

For other types of writing, he has come to love drafting on the computer. He is efficient at typing now and it makes it easy to edit and revise at every stage. But I think poetry, which rap essentially is, feels easier to draft on paper, to see it concretely and play around with rhymes without getting bogged down with lots of computer formatting. W felt the same and wanted to draft his raps on paper. Not only that, but interestingly, he feels strongly about writing his raps on blank copy paper. He says lined paper makes him feel limited. He feels more free and open to anything on blank. He writes on the paper, in a way that appears to be prose, filling each line before sweeping back to start the next, and he underlines the words or word parts that rhyme to help them pop out and see the pairs (see example at the end of this post). He says underlining it also makes it simpler for him to read with the right beat and emphasis when he speaks the rap aloud. He has figured out his own creative process that works for him.

I leave him alone unless he asks for help. If I talk to him unsolicited, it generally interrupts his thinking. Not every day is amazing output, but that's being a writer, isn't it? I know it's been a good day when he comes to snack afterward saying, "I want to read this to you." I try to give him really specific feedback in small doses, about what I love, or what I thought worked really well, as well as ideas for polishing or for what's next. 

More Rap Inspiration Along the Way

He is more self-driven in this writing unit than I have ever seen him before. I am only helping to maintain the enthusiasm and interest he has at this point. Every day or two or three, as needed, I challenge him to try a certain technique or feed him a little more inspiration to keep him going. We've enjoyed a few other rap songs together. I once heard an author (I can't remember who!) say in an interview that it was key to read a lot, and that whatever author they were currently reading, they tended to temporarily imitate and write in the style of, such was the effect of the writing around them. I have certainly seen this effect on W with the rap we listen to. For a time, he was writing highly amusing little raps full of family humor. One day we listened to the audio of "Gangsta's Paradise" (and this kiddie cover of it, just for fun), and that was the day that the intense rap conveying his serious love for skiing poured out of him (see below). A week or so later, I showed him the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song and he was immediately telling stories through rap and including back-and-forth conversations in them. He said just the other day that he feels when we listen to a song just before he writes it gets him really ready and in the zone to create his own rap.  

 

Sharing

Having kids share their writing in an authentic way with a real audience is always important, in showing them their writing has purpose, and as a celebration. As I said, we do writing in the morning and he often shares it with me when he's done, especially if he is pleased with it. But he also often brings his latest to the table at lunch time and stands up to perform it for his dad and sister as well. I love these lunch time raps. While we are not a big or public audience, we are certainly an appreciative one. He's shared his raps as gifts. And, he's so excited about and proud of his rapping that he has not only given me permission, but has been asking me to share here on this blog one of his favorite raps that he wrote, about skiing. I have a photo of it below the way he drafted it, then the same rap typed up, and finally, since rap, like poetry is meant to be heard, I wanted to include a video of him performing his rap...but he wanted to make an audio recording of it instead and use it as the soundtrack to some videos of himself skiing. So that is below as well. 

W's Skiing Rap in Draft Form: 

W's Skiing Rap, Typed:

          I’m smashin’ through the powder on the side of a mountain
          An’ my miles per hour nobody wants to be countin’

          Hey I’m on a double black diamond
          and if you’ll watch me you’ll see that I’m flying
          Watchin’ me go down, you’ll also see that gravity’s lyin’

          Goin’ through the trees
          with the powder to my knees
          Any calm or serenity that used to have existed
          Is smashed into fragments as my legs work like pistons

          The sounds of my edges shreddin’ the hillside
          are echoing back like an ocean tide

          I’m like the fiercest of banshees,
          Setting off miniature avalanches

          Hey I’m on a double black diamond,
          And if you watch me, you’ll see that I’m flying

          I don’t need no groomer,
          Without one I’m still an adept zoomer

          As I get closer to the bottom of the mountain
          Snow is spurting out behind me like a fountain

          I flit through the last of the trees
          My twin tips looking proudly back on the marks they made on the permafreeze

          I hockey stop just right,
          Then I’m immersed in a cloud of white

          As I hop on the chairlift, I realize that I liked that run.
          It really was fun.

W's Skiing Rap, Performed as Soundtrack to this Video:

"Any calm or serenity that used to have existed / Is smashed into fragments as my legs work like pistons"-- who is he?? Personally, I've moved past Hamilton and this is now the line I have stuck in my head on repeat. I was so impressed by this piece! I know he put his all into every word and the effect he was trying to create; I was reminded how the economy and musicality with words that poetry requires, and rap apparently, and other short writing formats, is so powerful to do with kids.

What's Next for the Rest of this Year in Writing

This rap writing "unit" has emboldened me, more than I already was as a homeschool parent. If I can teach rap, then anyone can teach anything-- by asking and noticing the types of things kids really want to write, doing some research, being flexible and willing to work out the plan as you go, giving support but plenty of space to experiment.  

I don't know what's next for us after this in writing! And for the first time in my life as a teacher or homeschool parent, that's a beautiful thing. When rap starts to feel like it is winding down, we will talk about what he's interested in and we'll decide together. Maybe I will help him start his own blog. Maybe he'll write some Lego reviews or write and produce history videos. Maybe he'll write some historical fiction. So little time, so many exciting options for writing for a kid his age. I like seeing him empowered to recognize his interests and help make choices for what he will spend his time on. Whatever genre of writing he does next, I know he will continue to grow and mature as a writer. 

Family Game Night

Family game night. This is a new tradition we've started lately, on Sundays after dinner.

It's so exciting that our kids are at ages that it's even possible to play a game all together. We own a lot of games, but usually in the past they’ve been mostly specific to one kid or the other (Don't Break the Ice with M, Chess with W, that sort of thing).

I like having a built-in time to play games, because the week gets busy (even as homeschoolers) with schoolwork and other activities and sometimes I feel like we don't play games often enough! Plus, we have a few games that only really work as intended with four or more players so it has been nice to give those some use.

We try to mix it up from week to week as far as what type of game(s) we play and who gets to pick. Some games are a little hard for M, but we can either adapt it for her, or let her play with one of us on a team. Some games are a little young for W, but he inevitably still gets into it and finds joy in hoping to beat the rest of us.

There are tons of benefits to playing games with kids, besides it being nice time as a family-- developing logic, strategy, thinking ahead and planning, organization, academic skills, communication, teamwork, motor skills (oh, card shuffling!). Even the simplest, least strategic games like Candy Land are good practice following a given set of rules and being a good sport about the outcomes. (Getting kicked back to start repeatedly in a game of Sorry this past weekend was almost more than M could handle, but she got through it. Side note: we learned a game of Sorry can go on a long while with four people playing...)

The kids each have their own individual favorites besides those mentioned below (W is in love with Stratego, for example). But here are some of our favorite games (so far) that work pretty well for all of us to play together.

Favorite Family Games

• Scrabble M can't spell all the words conventionally, but she comes up with ideas based on the letters she has and we help her the rest of the way.
• Memory We own various versions but we've always liked I Never Forget a Face, which has nice thick, sturdy cards and shows faces of children from different countries.  
• Go Fish/Old Maid
• Apples to Apples Junior, Kids Against Maturity, Kids Create Absurdity All three are variations where players choose a card to fill in a blank and one player picks what they find the funniest result. These games are good for laughs-- and have plenty of potty humor.
• Codenames We just have to check that M knows what all the words on the board mean before starting. We’re excited that having four players allows us to play this clever game.
• Qwirkle Simple concept using wooden tiles in six different colors and shapes, yet challenging for all ages, and one of the prettiest games to play.
• Pretty Pretty Princess It's nice to have some quick, silly games in the mix so it isn't all serious.
• Candy Land
• Sorry
• Pictionary Junior
• Charades
• Animal Trivia Challenge
• The World Game Geography game that is challenging, but you can somewhat adapt the level of challenge for each player so M essentially only needs to guess which continent a country is on, while W could try to identify the flag and other facts.
• Sequence for Kids We love the regular Sequence as well. But this version, that we've had since W was three, uses animals and is one of the best "junior" versions of a game in our opinion and we all enjoy it. 

What are your favorite family games?

Quarantine Round-Up: Family Records from an Unusual Year

It is hard to believe it has been a year since last March when so much about our daily lives changed. It makes me think about the passage of time and how quickly it slips through your fingers. 

The other night as W and M erected a blanket fort as I prepared dinner, it occurred to me that they've never made so many forts before. Lately it feels like they make a fort almost every week-- so much so that Santa got them a second box of Crazy Forts connector pieces at Christmas time to help them build bigger and better structures! I'm sure we all have our own unique experiences, and, for better or worse, our kids will be telling their tales of this year their whole lives. 

Beyond the number of forts built, here are some other things that stand out for our family about this year.

This year definitely marked for us the least of some things:

• Number of times dining out in restaurants (0)-- we're a little extreme and haven't even had takeout in a YEAR. (We are literally preparing food and it is getting consumed All. The. Time.)
• Number of extended family gatherings.
• Trips or vacations.
• Mileage on our cars.
• Birthday parties.
• Camps, organized sports.

But also the most of a lot of things:

• Games and Legos played over video chat.
• Sibling bonding.
• Rusty brake rotors from disuse.
• Puzzles done. There is always one vying for space on our large-but-never-large-enough dining room table, and they seem to get bigger and bigger. 
• Online learning. We've enjoyed instrument lessons via Zoom, Tippi Toes dance classes, and the occasional Outschool class. 
• Virtual concerts watched. We tapped our toes to Hilary Hahn, Natalie MacMaster, and The Trans-Siberian Orchestra from the comfort of our living room.  
• Online trivia nights. We've seen a couple of groups of friends far more often than we would have in normal life, thanks to this. 
• Time spent together as a family.  
• Homemade bread and other new adventures in food (homemade yogurt, African peanut butter stew, homemade sushi, and sourdough: bread, pancakes and waffles, pizza dough, crumpets, biscuits, popovers...)
• Time spent with our dog (which is good because, in his old age he seems to need to go outside more and more times in a day).
• Songs from the Hamilton and Frozen soundtracks listened to, sung, and memorized.
• Connection with nature. We've always liked to be outside and bike and hike and ski, but this year we've forced buds, started seeds, tapped a tree, found and revisited frog eggs, played with milkweed, harvested and drawn on shelf fungi, followed deer and rabbit tracks, searched for antlers, tromped in wetlands, cracked ice sheets from the surface of the freshly frozen brook, studied worms and introduced them to our compost bin, and really gotten to know our own backyard more than ever before. 
• Popsicles consumed (we really got into afternoon popsicles outside as a treat from spring through fall and still have some stashed in our freezer since the warm days ceased).
• Groceries ordered online and delivered straight to my car. I've hardly set foot in a grocery store since July and it's amazing. 
• Skiing and skating and sledding and snowman building in a winter-- this year there is not much else to distract from those things during our weekends and free time.
• Sickness-free for our family personally, for which I feel extremely lucky and grateful. I find it amazing that not one of us has had so much as a sniffle in a year.

What are your standout mosts and leasts you will remember from this unusual year?

Parenting for a Growth Mindset

I love to watch my kids solve problems. 

The other day my daughter's teapot was too hot to touch. Ask Mom to pour? Nooooo. She found some nearby gloves to help her manage it. It reminded me of about a year ago when she couldn’t open the flip top on her toothpaste and figured out that a little orange Lego brick separator was all she needed to get the job done. So she kept one stashed in the bathroom for daily utility. We're often impressed by how resourceful and independent she is in little moments like these. 

I get to observe my two kids and the way they learn every day. Like any two siblings, they're different. This time of year, I've been reflecting on their different approaches when they each were learning to ski. 

My son is now, at 10, what I would call an expert skier, both cross-country or downhill, on all sorts of terrain. He is comfortable and confident on skis, and skiing has become part of his identity and something that he, uncharacteristically, likes to show off. But when he was little and learning to ski, whether on the magic carpet, or out on our favorite cross-country ski trails, he whined and fretted a fair amount. When he fell, he sometimes stayed on the ground for a while, grumbling at us/himself/his skis. He was frustrated and didn't know how to manage the fact that it was challenging, and we felt frustrated too sometimes-- with his attitude. 

He was fragile as a learner of that new skill. He taught us we had to tread lightly, being gentle and encouraging, trying to say just the right things at key moments. We tried to remain calm and react to the stumbles as a normal part of learning (or, often, intentionally not react at all), and point out every little bit of progress to build him up. We knew that with practice he would get better and find it more fun (and he did). We kept going out, doing small amounts we thought he could handle to keep it positive. I don't know the exact moment when he switched from feeling frustrated with skiing to feeling super confident. But it is one of our clearest shining examples, and his, of practice and progress over time and how it can dramatically change your relationship with a skill. As a result, to this day, if he's trying to do something new or hard and we see some frustration, there's a good chance one of us will bring up the topic of skiing.

Teaching M, 5, to ski has been an entirely different experience. M goes fairly slowly and falls plenty, but she either laughs or doesn't miss a beat in conversation while she simply gets back up. She generally is not annoyed or surprised by a fall; there's no big emotions that ensue. If she's stuck in an awkward position, we might need to spend a minute discussing where she should put her feet so that she can stand up, but she patiently listens and tries our advice. If she whines we know it really is time to call it a day, because she so rarely does. She is patient and persistent, plugging along at her own speed. When I bit off a little more than I should have distance-wise on a cross-country loop recently and admitted that as the hours wore on and the sun got lower in the sky, she said, "Mommy, you should look at the map better next time," but she didn't melt into a heap or give up; she just kept going, cheerfully. (When we returned home, W openly said something like, "Wow! If I'd skied five miles at her age I wouldn't have been in a good mood afterward!")  

A few years ago, my fellow teachers and I all read as a book study Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. My copy has a lot of underlining and scribbled notes in the margins. It made a lot of my observations about how kids are as learners, especially my own children, make sense. The book is based on a lot of research and I strongly recommend it to any parent or teacher. The big idea is that all people have either a growth mindset or a fixed mindset (or something on the spectrum in between). A growth mindset is the belief that you can learn, that you will improve with hard work and practice. A fixed mindset is the belief that your qualities are fixed traits, that we are each born with a certain amount of talent that doesn't change. Each of these have different characteristics and sometimes need to be taught and parented in different ways. 

In learning to ski, my two kids had different mindsets: M had more of a growth mindset, while W showed a fixed mindset. My kids aren't always the way they were then; sometimes it's the reverse. W has grown a lot from the little boy who could have an occasional tantrum on skis, and M has plenty of rough days and stubborn moments. But their varying approaches to learning and working, especially when things are not coming easily, have taught me first-hand about the idea of mindset and the difference it can make. Daily I notice their relationship with challenge, the length of time they stick with something on their own before asking for help, their tolerance for frustration, their willingness to take advice, their self talk. I see mindset when one of them encounters a problem whose solution isn't immediately obvious, or when I set out to present a brand new concept to one of them in math. 

Here are some of the differences discussed in the book that can often be seen with the two mindsets:

Characteristics of a Fixed Mindset

• Belief in fixed traits and natural/innate ability (I'm good at math, or, I'm a bad artist, etc.)
• Fixed ability constantly needs to be proven 
• Afraid of challenge
• Afraid of not being smart
• Want to make sure they succeed
• If things get too challenging, they lose interest
• Feel smart when flawless 
• Don't remember the idea of "yet" (either feel they can or can't do something) 
• Failure can be devastating because it affects identity as being good at this or that
• Avoid learning from failure and sometimes focus on bolstering self esteem instead ("At least I'm better than so-and-so...," assigning blame, or making excuses) 
• Need validation of their worth 

Characteristics of a Growth Mindset 

• Belief in changing qualities 
• Belief that ability is changeable and can be developed through learning 
• Enjoy challenge; challenge and interest in something go together 
• Feel smart when learning 
• Think of themselves as simply not knowing how to do something yet
• Failure can be painful, but doesn't define identity
• Feeling of being more determined when things get worse
• Value what they are doing regardless of the outcome 
• Take charge of their own learning and motivation 
• Ask how they can do things, not whether they can do things 

We all have different interests and things we focus on. There are areas of life in which I have more of a fixed mindset, where I give up pretty quickly and leave it to someone more qualified (high-school science topics and broken appliances come to mind), and other areas where I have a growth mindset, where I am more open-minded and have a habit of reading and delving deeper to improve (parenting, teaching, cooking, to name a few). Most of us are in different places along the fixed-growth mindset spectrum in different areas of life. There are also other aspects of who we are that play into how we tackle situations-- disabilities and individual temperament, for example. But mindset is a big piece of it, and a growth mindset be taught. I want my kids to have a growth mindset attitude toward life, to feel that nothing is beyond them if they work at it. I want them to have perseverance and to understand that worthy enterprises aren't usually easy or immediate. Ever since I read Mindset I have been trying to be aware of the things I do as a parent that could help them along the path of these goals, that might foster or help develop a growth mindset. Here are some strategies I have felt to be effective, and some I was reminded of in rereading my underlining in the final chapters of Mindset. 

Strategies for Fostering or Developing a Growth Mindset in Kids 

• If they want to do something themselves, let them. This takes patience, so
• Build time into your routine so you can allow them to spend ten minutes buttoning their own shirt or tying their own shoes in the morning.
• Let them struggle a bit. Don't jump in too soon. If they are focused and actively trying to figure out that tricky word in their book, let them. If on the other hand they skip over the hard word or toss the book aside, that might be the time to offer a hint or a strategy to keep them going. 
• Regularly point out and describe specific, concrete ways they have grown and changed, whether it is the songs they now know how to play on an instrument or how legible their handwriting is. Physical evidence of their own growth in the form of work samples, pictures, or videos from the past is powerful to kids.   
• Celebrate challenge.
• Use the word and concept of "yet" more often, as it showcases the idea that we are all on a path and our abilities aren't fixed. It makes things feel possible and only a matter of time and learning. (I haven't learned to ride my bike yet, but I am getting there; Someday I'll probably like broccoli.) (There are multiple children's books about this concept-- The Magical Yet; The Power of Yet; I Can't Do that, Yet... I haven't read those-- yet-- but I love the idea behind them.) 
• Rather than praising their talent or intelligence (You're such a great gymnast/You're so smart), focus on naming and praising their effort and strategies. 
• When there are achievements to celebrate (trophies, grades, etc.) connect those to the processes that got them there. (You practiced your spelling words every night this week and you got them all right!)  
• Don't label your kids (i.e. This one's the artist, This one is the scientist).
• Treat mistakes as expected and as opportunities for learning.
• Talk about the new things you are always learning, and model not giving up on things easily in your own enterprises.
• Model seeing your own mistakes honestly, taking feedback, and changing your strategies; tell stories about things that are easier for you now because of your hard work.
• When they struggle, whether with friends or shyness or with learning a particular skill, share your stories of struggle and how you got through it and how it turned out.  
• Talk about your own fixed-mindset areas when they present themselves, and how you are working on them. 
• Give kids regular honest and constructive feedback, both so it will help them improve and because it will cause them to become accustomed to feedback and not see it as negative or as an attack on their character. 
• Dweck writes, "Research shows that normal young children misbehave every three minutes." Don't let kids feel judgement and punishment during those many moments; see their behaviors instead as part of their normal growth process and as moments to teach. 
• Support their own chosen interests and learning.
• If there is talent they admire or idolize, give them tools and help them see the way to get there. 
• Teach them that connections in their brain get stronger, and brain cells grow, when they learn new things. This gives some literal proof and explanation to the idea that things that are at one point hard can become easy-- and that things always being easy isn't something to celebrate because that indicates they aren't learning. 
• Structure some dinner-table conversation around the growth mindset: What is a mistake that taught you something today? What did you try hard at today?
• Read and discuss books with themes of perseverance, hard work, strategy-- and growth mindset. There are many but a few picture-book examples I like are: Rosie Revere, Engineer by Andrea Beaty, Everyone Can Learn to Ride a Bicycle by Chris Raschka, The Dot by Peter H. Reynolds, and The Most Magnificent Thing by Ashley Spires. 

One of the main themes I see in regard to parenting for a growth mindset is, unsurprisingly, that how we talk to kids-- our words and tone, our reactions and interactions-- matter. (And in trying to have the right words and tone, we'll all mess up, but we can have a growth mindset and keep trying and stick with it!) 

We can try to be patient and admiring when they insist on pouring their milk themselves or retrieving something from the top shelf by using a stool. Initiative, problem-solving, confidence, and stick-with-it-ness matter more than spilled milk in the long run. In so many little moments of every day, we have the opportunity to let them try and not to step in too early, to notice the many failed attempts as they inch closer to a goal, and celebrate their efforts when they keep going. I want a struggle with dividing decimals to be seen honestly for what it is, and not as an indicator that they are not good at math (or that math is stupid) and that they might as well give up. We can try to be the type of parents who don't expect new skills or habits to be mastered right away, so kids too will have realistic expectations of themselves and will come to know that progress comes with time and effort. None of us is permanently messy or neat, a good cook or not, a good student or not, a good athlete or not-- it's all a process. We won't all become the best of the best in every area we explore, but we can all improve from where we begin.

Art Project: Papier-Mache Bowls

We recently finished up an art project making these papier-mache bowls! I loved to do this when I was younger and it was great to share with my kids. They liked having their hands in the gooey mixture, as well as getting to paint the bowls any way they wanted. It was a days-long process, with several drying stages, but really easy and fun.

I didn’t take any pictures of the process, because my hands were too messy at the time! This is what we did:

Materials Needed:

• household bowls (to build on and then remove)
• aluminum foil
• nonstick cooking spray
• newspaper-- both whole pieces for work surface and strips for papier-mache
• flour and water
• acrylic or tempera paint, brushes
• Mod Podge 

Steps:
1. Choose a household bowl you like the size and shape of. Cover it as smoothly as possible in aluminum foil, then give the outside of the bowl a spray with nonstick cooking spray (this is so the hardened paper will pop off the bowl easily later).

2. Mix a slurry of flour and water in a bowl in about a 1:1 ratio. Rip some newspaper into long strips.

3. Invert bowls on large pieces of newspaper. Dip a strip of newspaper in the slurry, pull it up through your index and middle fingers to wipe off excess, then drape it across the bowl and smooth it down. Cover the bowl in slightly overlapping strips of newspaper like this all going the same direction until bowl is covered.

4. Turn the bowl 90 degrees and add another layer of newspaper strips the same way. Do more layers as desired (we did a total of 4-6 layers on each bowl). Let dry completely overnight.

5. Cut the overhanging part of the strips off the next day and pop the foil-covered bowls out of the now-hard paper. To smooth the rough paper edges, make more flour-water mixture and dip short strips of newspaper in it in order to lay them over just the edge of the bowl, overlapping all the way around. Let dry overnight.

6. Paint the bowls any way you like with acrylic or tempera paints. Let dry overnight.

7. Paint a coat of Mod Podge to give it a shiny, glazed finish. (We Mod-Podged the outside of the bowl one day, let it dry, then the next day flipped it over and painted the top edge and inside of the bowl.) Let dry completely.  

We haven't decided what to put in our bowls-- they'd have to hold something that's not wet! But they would make a nice gift or decoration. 

Ideas for Virtual Playdates

It's midwinter at the height of a pandemic, so, like many people, we're trying to avoid indoor gatherings-- which eliminates traditional playdates. That has been tough. 

Some may think that homeschoolers would be accustomed to limited socialization, but this school year has felt like night and day compared to (the first two-thirds of) last year. Last year we were new homeschoolers, and we were happy and relieved to find how connected the kids still felt. W attended PE twice a week at the school with his old classmates, and participated in every seasonal sport. We took one class for homeschoolers and did frequent after-school things like playdates and dance class. We were pleasantly busy; there were always people to see and places to go. 

The last few months, with none of that happening, is the first time I have worried about socialization and trying to keep my kids from feeling too isolated. 

We're lucky to be able to sometimes meet up outdoors with friends who like to cross-country ski or ice skate, but for the most part other than that, we've focused on finding ways for the kids to have fun with friends and family from home, via Zoom or FaceTime. Given the options right now, they love it. Especially on the days when morale is dragging, I've found it is amazing how much happier my kids are after spending an hour or more face-to-face with a friend, even if it isn't in person (which they frequently reminisce about, and look forward to doing again...). 

My biggest aha with my kids and video calls is that, while there are times we all want to sit down and share a family call, in general the kids do best with their peers when I just get them set up (if needed) and then let them be free to wander around the house and to do whatever they feel like, even if it doesn't seem that they are really doing any particular thing. That might mean two 5-year-olds just peek at each other through their empty Connect 4 boards and giggle. While I as the adult might feel inclined to step in and organize things for them, if they are happy and spending time with someone they like, that's what matters. Kids are amazingly flexible and adaptable and mine always seem to find a way to have fun one way or another when they are given the time and some friendly company on the other end.  

But there are times, on calls with grandparents or newer friends, where I've found it's nice to have a little more structure in the way of a game or activity, at least to get things started. To that end, here's our list of favorite activities for virtual playdates. I hope this list gives some ideas to other parents out there. What ideas have worked well for your family? Please share your other, no doubt better, ideas for getting kids together safely. I would be excited to get a comment :) and we would absolutely love to get more ideas.  

Our Favorite Activities (So Far) for Virtual Playdates

Games 

We don't do online video games (yet) in our house, and I know that's a way kids connect with one another from home these days. So far we've stuck with some old-school games we've found to work well over a video call. Many only require one of the players to actually have the game, while others require no special equipment.

• Guess Who-- Perfect over FaceTime; just make sure you both have the same version, which was an issue we ran into once...
• Battleship-- Another that is absolutely perfect for playing remotely, as the whole point is to hide your board and guess the other person's.
• Connect 4-- Some friends of ours taught us the trick of labeling the columns 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Then kids (of any age!) can play with anyone, even if their opponent doesn't own the game. The opponent just says which column number to drop their chip in when it's their turn. This one is good for a wide range of kids and for play with grandparents as well (and it's quick so you can play several rounds). M actually played recently for the first time with a friend who owned the game and it was honestly a little more confusing to have two boards and have to try to mirror/stay caught up with one another. We decided it's best for just one person to have the actual board set up on their end. (She also played with a different friend recently where they didn't play the actual game but both just ended up stacking their Connect 4 chips and comparing their walls/towers/patterns, so it's a multi-use game.) 
• Hangman-- Another good one with grandparents, and adaptable for multiple ages, by using simpler or harder words. 
• Charades-- We played recently in a group of adult cousins and our kids. It was really simple and fun, especially by googling a simple word generator like this one (with easy, medium, and hard levels to choose from) so that you didn't even have to first brainstorm words to act out, but can jump right in with playing. Teams do not all have to be located in the same house together to guess and act for one another which was fun, because there were more kids than adults so we decided to play adults vs. kids. (We had the kids' team use the "easy" words and the adult team use medium or hard words.) (My sister tells me Pictionary was fun this same way, using an online word generator, so we are looking forward to trying that, too.)
• Scattergories/Categories-- Choose several categories, and a letter of the alphabet. Set a timer for a certain amount of time. Everyone privately tries to think of and write down examples of each category beginning with the chosen letter. When time is up and answers are compared, you receive a point for any word that other players didn't also think of. Play several rounds with different letters of the alphabet and compare scores. Here is one description of how to play.    
• Yahtzee-- This is a great game, with a fun mix of chance and strategy. We've learned it can be played over FaceTime easily. We scanned the blank score sheet and emailed it to grandparents. As long as they have that and can find five dice in their house, they are good to go! 
• Board Game Arena-- We need to further explore this site that a friend introduced us to, but it seems great! It is a free way to be able to play a whole slew of traditional board games and card games online with friend. It provides the interface to play games that wouldn't otherwise work well over a video call. After 30 seconds to create an account on the site, W recently spent an hour playing a few rounds of Kingdomino over Zoom with a friend thousands of miles away and reported that "that was SO fun."  
• 20 Questions-- no materials needed. 
• Rubik's Race-- This may fall in the category of games W and his cousin found to play in the early days of quarantine that perhaps seem like less obvious choices to others but they made it work. It's a two-person game where both need to own the game in order to play it virtually. You quickly try to move the pieces around to be the first to make a specified arrangement. It's intense and fast-paced, so not a lot of chit chat on the side with this one. 

Other

Here are some other things, besides specific games or just chatting, that have been fun for the kids over video chat. 

• Impressions-- I once had the idea that I would get W and his homeschooled cousin together to talk about a book they had both read. I had question prompts ready and everything, but my lofty book discussion became a game of impressions. "Okay, okay, who am I now?..." one of them would say, as they acted out things specific characters from the book said or did (or the types of things these characters might have said and done based on their personalities) and the other guessed.  
• Dress up-- M enjoys doing this. The funny thing is, kids don't seem to mind abandoning each other for several minutes as they go change or retrieve a prop, and don't seem to mind waiting as the other does the same. It's not the same as being in the same room together, but it's amazing how naturally they do it and go with the flow of it all.
• Dolls-- Another of M's favorites. It's great when she has gotten a chance to play "Babies" with her cousin. They are on the same wavelength (in contrast to how the rest of this household secretly feels if M asks one of us to play babies with her) and they don't care whether they can see each other the whole time. They chatter at each other and occasionally stop to see or show something on the actual screen that they leave propped somewhere as they are happily engrossed with their own dolls in their own rooms while hearing each other's voices.   
• Show & Tell-- If there's an adult on the other end, especially one prone to motion sickness, they may get tired of kids running around the house carrying the iPad/phone while on a call. But kids love to show off their room, pet, or newest toy or creation, and seem genuinely interested in seeing each other's things as well.
• Legos-- This one doesn't seem like it would work well, but from the earliest days of quarantine, W and his cousin have contentedly built Legos together over Facetime. They'll hang out for long moments peacefully building in silence in each other's company, then they'll show things, or ask ideas and be totally engaged in it all. (One of the sweetest things I overheard was when W and his cousin made the (questionable) plan to each build half a boat out of Legos and to put it together when they can get together again.) They seem so focused and satisfied doing Legos over FaceTime, approximating one of the most natural pastimes they'd be doing if they were actually together.
• Reading-- Kids can read to a grandparent, or take turns reading to each other. 
• Performance-- FaceTime works great to play or sing a song or do a dance for an audience. 
• Teach each other something-- Kids can take turns or set up different times to be the teacher, teaching and demonstrating a gymnastics or dance move, or other how-to for a friend. 

Last, but not Least, School-Related Stuff

If you are lucky enough to have some homeschoolers (or remote schoolers) as friends or family, virtual bits of the school day here and there where you can share learning are a fun way to break up the routine.

• Jeopardy or other learning game-- Quiz kids on a shared topic of study.
• Book talk about a common book or author or topic-- Could be a discussion you structure and lead, or one you leave to them.
• Share/Present-- Last spring we had a few "talent shows" for my kids and my niece and nephew when each kid could share or show off any new skill or learning they wanted to All the Grandparents. Our four kids read writing aloud, performed magic tricks, recited things they'd memorized (state capitals), played a piece on an instrument, and did gymnastics routines. Remembering this makes me want to do it again. It was a fun way to bring people together and give the kids all an audience and an ego boost.   
• Share a lesson-- During normal life there are homeschool classes, and homeschool co-ops where parents come together and take turns teaching groups of homeschoolers on topics of individual expertise. This is not something we've tried this year, but seems like a reasonable thing to do virtually. 

For Adults, Too

My husband and I don't play many games but we have played more in the last nine months than usual. Here are a couple things we've really enjoyed.   

• Sporcle Virtual Live Trivia-- For $5 per device, a team of people in separate locations (up to ten households) competes against other teams. It's low key and fun. After each question is posed, you get a few minutes in a private "breakout room" with only your team members to discuss your answer and chat. Sign up on their site couldn't be quicker and easier. They have plenty of "all topics" trivia nights, and we've also done a couple of themed trivia nights with particular groups of friends-- and we let W stay up one night to play Harry Potter trivia too.
• Jackbox Games-- A drawing game called Drawful and a funny game of brainstorming funny responses to questions called Quiplash have been our favorites, but this company has a whole suite of games. Most of these can be played with up to eight people/devices so it's another fun way to get together with friends and family. (W and M are both fans of playing Drawful, and we just keep the "family-friendly" setting checked when playing with kids.)

One of the many unexpected gifts we are thankful for in these strange times is that, in some ways, we see friends and family more, and on shorter notice, than ever before. It's not the same of course, but it can still be a lot of fun. Please share your favorite ideas that we should try next!